I’ll never forge that day in the hospital when I woke up from a laparscopic procedure with an ostomy. It took a while to understand what was happening to me. I tried not to panic but I can feel a wave of worry come over me. I was scared. My surgeon performed a procedure to create an artificial opening (stoma) in my abdomen, through which feces could exit my body and be collected in an external pouch. My temporary ileoma was created to allow my colon to rest and heal. The following months would be the most challenging yet enlightening experience of my life. At first, I was in shock. It took some time, a few months to accept my temporary change in body. I struggled with suicidal thoughts, finding my purpose and trying to understand why this was happening to me. The issues that were present with my ileostomy took a toll on my body and my mind. I cried so much that my head would hurt. One night I began to pray. I told God that I was angry with him. Why would he have me to suffer in such a horrid way! I didn’t understand. Why me? After my breakdown, I began to cry out to the Lord for comfort and solace. And slowly, I started to feel better. I became more calm and at ease. I realized that my inner tantrums were getting me no where so I embraced by body and my stoma. Sometimes I would sit in silence with tears falling down my face but I would tell myself that I was experiencing this for a reason because I was.
I realized that my body was created to endure suffering. And to overcome it. My life with an ostomy was so humbling and eye opening. Each day I am reminded of it with the scar on my lower right side right below my belly. In Psalm 119:71, David said, ”It is good for me that I was afflicted that I might learn your statutes. My afflictions made me more sympathetic, merciful and slower to judge. It reminded me of the brevity of life and how important it is to stay dependent on God. His power was displayed in me and I am a better person because of it.
I am now more aware of how important it is to smile even when I am experiencing a rough patch. I realize that it could be worse. I am so grateful for my journey with an ostomy. My morning are more brighter because I am alive. I always take the time to thank God for this life and the ability to overcome pain and heartache. I acknowledge my journey and how it has shaped me as an individual.
Today is World Ostomy Day! Here’s to the resilience, strength, and courage that millions of individuals display each year living with an ostomy. It is a day to raise awareness, break stigmas and empower those living with ostomies to lead fulfilling lives!
Jesus I will never forget! Thank you for this wonderful and powerful testimony.
